


we're so alive

by ouvertes



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Childhood Friends, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Growing Up, M/M, Mutual Pining, POV Alternating, Slow Build, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-09
Updated: 2019-05-09
Packaged: 2019-11-27 02:47:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18188771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ouvertes/pseuds/ouvertes
Summary: The four were far from perfect.And yet Minhyuk wasn’t sure if he would want it any other way.





	we're so alive

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mochawontokki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mochawontokki/gifts).



> prompt: [wasted nights - one ok rock](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4YLo74OWfY)

 

\- 4 -

 

Kihyun never really paid any attention to the boy until the taunts began.

“Why don’t you ever talk?” They jeered.

Despite (or perhaps because) they were children, their bites were as sharp as they were blunt. Kihyun had seen the boy getting cornered on the playground. He slowly approached the gathering crowd, standing up on his tiptoes and squinting.

“Are you broken?”

“Did a frog eat your tongue?”

“Open your mouth!”

The boy in question had flitted his eyes among the crowd. He searched, for someone, for something, an escape. When he reached Kihyun, the latter hovered his mouth open, only to close it again. It was with the final transformation of the boy’s expression, as the faint strand of hope was let go into one of absolute brokenness, that Kihyun had made up his mind.

He never, _ever_ , wanted to see that face again.

Crouching down, he barrelled through the human barricade, grabbed the shocked boy by the wrist, and pulled him out.

And then the two ran.

They ran and ran and ran until they reached the farthest edge of the field. There, Kihyun fetched a piece of cloth from under the bushes and climbed onto a boulder, hoisting the boy up with him.

“You’re under my protection now, for I am a wizard. Behold my power!” Kihyun proclaimed on the Great Rock as he brandished his cape. The other boy stood enthralled, his eyes reflecting the twinkling of the stars from Kihyun’s eyes. And Kihyun may not have known it then, but from that moment, the boy had signed his unwavering loyalty to this little wizard.

“Your dragon self is sleeping, you know,” he would whisper to the boy. “But inside, you have magic. You just wait till it comes out.” The boy would fiercely nod his head.

The other children soon stopped picking on the boy who didn’t speak. But they were relentless with their taunts towards Kihyun. They would throw words, sticks and stones, about his tattered shoes and his ragged clothes and about his hair that was always as wild and unkempt as the weeds. And Kihyun would rightfully throw his own handful back. He wasn’t beneath screaming to stand his ground, and he was mighty proud of his screams, too. But to Kihyun’s annoyance, his voice seemed to rile up the children even more.

“They’re dummies,” Kihyun had forced a laugh when the boy found him, crouched in a tucked away courtyard with fresh tears streaked across his face. “I’ll defeat them soon enough.” The boy frowned.

Then one day, the taunts ceased.

“What happened?” Kihyun asked the boy, confused.

“Ki...hyun,” the boy said in the tiniest voice. “You… don’t have to worry anymore. I’m here now. Minhyuk is here.”

Kihyun gaped. And slowly, a smile dawned on his face and he simply couldn’t keep still anymore. “My dragon!” He jumped up and down and twirled around Minhyuk. “My dragon can roar!”

“Your dragon,” Minhyuk repeated. “Promise?”

“Promise?” Kihyun paused his celebratory dance and stood in thought. “Ah, yes! To protect each other forever.” He held out his pinky finger.

Instead of reaching out with his own pinky, Minhyuk spit on his palm and stuck out his hand. Kihyun cocked his head, grimacing. Minhyuk faltered, to which Kihyun immediately spit on his own palm and grabbed Minhyuk’s outstretched one.

“You’re gross,” Kihyun laughed. “But I like you.”

 

◇

 

Changkyun looked forward to nap time in class. It wasn’t as if he could ever actually fall asleep, not with his ears being as sensitive as they were. Jooheon had said his ears were a blessing, that he could hear danger coming from far away. Changkyun disagreed, of course. He only saw his ears as being in the way of a nice, peaceful nap. No, Changkyun couldn’t sleep, but boy did he try his best. He was just as tired as the others from a busy day, after all.

Today, his ears didn’t even have to try to listen in. Not more than twenty-five imaginary sheep hopped over his head before he heard the whispering. A peacefully sleeping Jooheon shifted next to him, lips pursed. Changkyun stroked Jooheon’s head and pulled him closer when he stirred again. Taking one especially loud giggle as the last straw, he blindly patted the ground to his other side. He found what he was looking for, pushed his glasses up with a chubby finger, and raised his head to search for the source of the noise.

Towards the far end of the room, he saw the two of them huddled together. One boy facing away from Changkyun, propped up on his elbow. Changkyun raised his head further up to see, in mild surprise, the other culprit was a quiet boy whose voice Changkyun had never heard until just then.

But no matter. Miracle or not, their voices were disturbing the peace and Changkyun could _not_ have that.

Making sure his movements didn’t wake his sleeping friend, Changkyun lifted an arm up and waved to get the quiet boy’s attention. The boy immediately noticed Changkyun. Changkyun then brought a finger to his lips. The boy mirrored Changkyun and nodded, poking the other boy before pointing in Changkyun’s direction.

The other boy sat all the way up and turned. When he made eye contact with Changkyun, he frowned. He was angry. Very angry. Angrier than he had any right to be as the destroyer of nap time peace, Changkyun thought. The angry boy looked back at his friend and firmly pulled down the finger from his lips.

Changkyun was perfectly aware that he was on the good side to this battle. But despite that, he suddenly felt scared. He ducked back down and burrowed his head into Jooheon’s hair, glad his friend’s ears weren’t delicate enough to wake up from his quickly-beating heart.

 

 

 

\- 8 -

 

Minhyuk felt an arm thrown over his shoulder, momentarily surprising him before he eased into the familiarity. The two walked down the school’s steps in comfortable silence.

“Three years,” Minhyuk finally grumbled, yanking down his backpack straps. “Three years and we _still_ didn’t get put in the same homeroom.”

A smile bloomed on Kihyun’s face before he craned his neck to peck a kiss on Minhyuk’s cheek. “I heard you got lucky with your assigned seat, though.”

“Uh huh, definitely, I _love_ sitting in the first row.”

“Don’t lie, you know you like it. Teacher’s pet,” Kihyun laughed at the face Minhyuk pulled. “Plus, you got Jooheon as your deskmate! Lucky you!”

Minhyuk rolled his eyes. “Lucky? To sit next to a jerk?”

The two reached Minhyuk’s bus first. “But Jooheon’s different!” Kihyun closed his eyes. “He’s smart, and pretty, and can run really fast-”

“Not as smart as me, not as pretty as you, and since when was running fast considered a big deal?” Minhyuk retorted by counting off his fingers.

“Please? Can you give him a chance? For me?”

“Fine.” Minhyuk hopped onto the first step of the bus, and then turned around with an accusatory finger. “For you. You owe me for this, Yoo Kihyun.”

“Yep yep, love you, too!” Kihyun waved over his shoulder.

 

◇

 

Jooheon was always the last to step off the bus.

By routine, he was immediately surrounded by a throng of kids clamoring for their final goodbyes. When the crowd dispersed, he looked over at the corner of the intersection.

By routine, first-seat-of-the-bus Kihyun was patiently waiting for him.

“Let’s take the short way today, yeah?” Kihyun asked.

“No,” Jooheon replied simply. By this point, he knew by heart how the rest of the conversation would go, but he enjoyed humoring his friend as the two walked. Soon enough, the road branched off, the route up the hill speckled with large, sprawling mansions while the other path shrouded itself in forest.

“But going to your house first saves you so much _time,_ ” Kihyun whined. “Why do you always have to drop me off?”

“Exercise,” Jooheon stopped walking to stick a leg out in front of him. “So I can get strong.”

“But you’re already strong!”

The comment made Jooheon laugh. “I can always do better.” His response was received with an exaggerated snort. “And besides, I like talking to you.”

A pebble jumped ahead in front of them, disappearing to the side into the bushes. Jooheon tilted his head at the silence. “What’s wrong?”

Kihyun sighed before mumbling. “Can’t go to the fair with you on Saturday.”

“Oh,” Jooheon nodded. “Sunday?”

Kihyun shook his head and kicked another pebble in their path, refusing to look at Jooheon.

“Hey, that’s okay,” Jooheon spoke gently, nudging the other with his shoulder. “I’m scared of the rides, anyways.”

Satisfied at the response, Kihyun let out a _hmph_ and proceeded to narrate his day with great emotion.

They reached Kihyun’s apartment complex just as a familiar beat-up car screeched off around the corner.

“Getting another foster brother today?”

Kihyun’s previously animated eyes glazed over as he stared at the building, a look of weariness much too heavy for an 8 year-old to bear.

“I have to go, I have to-” Kihyun’s feet was rooted to the spot despite the urgency in his words.

“Wait,” Jooheon reached out to grab Kihyun’s hand. He furrowed his brows at the other, and spoke with resolve. “You can come over to my house whenever you want, okay? You don’t have to ask me permission or anything.”

Kihyun swallowed down the lump growing in his throat before smiling weakly.

Jooheon squeezed Kihyun’s hand tight once more before letting go.

 

◇

 

“Seat’s taken,” the boy sitting in Minhyuk’s seat said matter-of-factly the next day. He leaned back against his chair and stared evenly at an unbudging Minhyuk.

“Changkyun! You sit here now?” Jooheon strolled into the classroom with his posse, sliding his backpack off and hooking it onto the back wall before approaching the two currently in a staring contest.

“Sure do,” Changkyun responded, sitting up straighter.

Jooheon placed a hand over Changkyun’s shoulder and looked quizzically at Minhyuk standing in front of the desk. His arms tightly folded across his chest, Minhyuk plastered an artificial smile at Jooheon before wiping it away to glare down at his friend.

With a voice an octave higher than before, Changkyun asked Minhyuk, “You got a problem?”

If this was any other year, Minhyuk would be absolutely thrilled to take this opportunity to switch seats as far away from anyone from the popular clique. But this year, he had given his word to make an “attempt,” whatever that meant.

“Hey,” Minhyuk began as calmly as possible, “let’s just all sit in our assigned seats, okay?”

“Don’t wanna. I’m talking to the teacher.” Changkyun’s demeanor was much too confident for someone who thought he could just throw the rules aside to sit with his buddy. Minhyuk relaxed. He had a natural charm with the adults. Keeping his own seat will be a piece of cake.

“I’m so _sorry,_ ” Changkyun let on the most innocent of looks when they approached the teacher. And it was at that moment when Minhyuk knew he was up against some competition. “But I gotta be at the front. I have really bad eyes. Can’t see the board from the back.”

“Me, too,” Minhyuk heard the words come out of his mouth before his brain could process them. Minhyuk could sense Changkyun’s outright disbelief through his peripherals. Desperate times. He quickly added, “ _And_ I get headaches if I have to squint. They really hurt a lot. I can get you a doctor’s note if you need me to-” he prayed she didn’t- “but I _need_ to sit here.”

“Well then, let’s see what we can do.” The teacher browsed the room and nodded. “How about this. Changkyun, you and Jooheon will switch seats. That way, both you and Minhyuk will be able to see the board!”

 _Uh oh,_ Minhyuk thought _. Kihyun wouldn’t be happy_. And neither was his new to-be deskmate. He looked over just in time to see an offending glare being thrown his way.

“Talk to you at lunch, then,” Changkyun grumbled at his friend. Jooheon stuck his palm out in front of him and Changkyun gave a high-five, ending with intertwined fingers that reluctantly slid apart as Jooheon walked to his new seat. Changkyun sat down heavily next to Minhyuk, scooched his chair as far away from the other as possible, and spent the remainder of homeroom period intensely scribbling away in his notebook.

 

◇

 

With the homeroom period minutes to near its end and everyone packing up, Minhyuk took the opportunity to ease the tension in the air.

“Hey, Changkyun?”

Changkyun paused his drawing but didn’t respond. Minhyuk took this as permission to continue.

“I’m sorry that you can’t sit next to your friend,” Minhyuk spoke while busying himself with his things. “But hey, neither of us got what we wanted! So we’re even, right?”

Changkyun slowly put his pencil down on his desk and turned to face Minhyuk. “I thought all you wanted was to sit at the front.”

“Oh, I did! I mean,” Minhyuk laughed a bit too loudly to pass it off as believable. “I just wanted everyone to sit in their assigned seats, you know?”

A shadow of hurt washed over Changkyun, but was immediately erased with a poker face.

Minhyuk spoke gently. “I’m fine with you as a deskmate, though! And I wasn’t really trying to split up you and your friend.”

“Best friend,” Changkyun corrected, turning back to his work.

“Best friend,” Minhyuk repeated with a smile. “You know what’s funny? My best friend is friends with your best friend!”

Changkyun paused again and frowned at his notebook. “Kihyun.”

Minhyuk blinked. “You know Kihyun?”

“No.” Changkyun spoke shortly. He looked at Minhyuk in palpable concern, biting his inner cheek.

“It’s alright,” Minhyuk raised his brows at the boy, patting his shoulder. “Your best friend position is safe!”

Changkyun’s lower lip stuck out just a bit into a pout as he paused in thought. “Whatever.” He slid his notebook into his arm as he stood up. Drumming the desk, he glanced at Minhyuk for a second longer before repeating to himself. “Whatever.” His mind finally made up, he stuck his hand in his pocket, fished out something, and shoved it in between the two books on Minhyuk’s desk.

Minhyuk watched the quickly receding figure heading straight for Jooheon’s desk. Changkyun was welcomed with a light touch on the arm. Minhyuk looked back down at his desk and shifted the books aside. Hidden safely there was a stick of gum.

 

◇

 

“One job. You had one job, and you screwed it up.”

The two were sprawled out on the floor of Minhyuk’s living room an evening after school, notebooks and loose leaf papers spread around them. Kihyun laid on his back with one arm dramatically covering up his eyes, his assignment paper crumpled and abandoned beside him. Minhyuk’s homework was long complete, tucked neatly away in between the pages of an earlier chapter of a textbook he had open on his lap.

“My one job is to go to _school._ ” To punctuate his response, Minhyuk jabbed Kihyun’s hip with his toes, resulting in a yelp. The latter’s hand flew down to grab the foot but Minhyuk’s reflexes were faster. Kihyun resumed his performance as he moved his arm back up to hide his face.

“I still don’t get what you see in that jerk.”

Kihyun rolled over onto his stomach and delivered mostly blocked punches to wherever he could reach. “I _told_ you not to call him that-”

“That _jerk_.” Another missed punch, this time caught and held as Minhyuk took both of his hands to drag a noisy Kihyun closer to him. He loosely locked Kihyun’s neck in his arm, with Kihyun’s head now softly whining on his lap. Eyeing the book and its previously-hidden gift that fell out of it onto the floor, Minhyuk began twirling strands of Kihyun’s hair.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“I already _told_ you,” Kihyun said while waving a stalk of peanut butter-coated celery. “Why won’t you talk to him?”

Minhyuk shook his head, picking up the stick of gum and thinking back to downcast eyes and the soft corners of hesitant lips.

Kihyun stared wide up at Minhyuk, his voice lower. “Do you really think he’d make a bad friend?”

“No.”

Kihyun sighed. “You gotta speak up. I’m not a mind-reader, remember?”

“Okay,” Minhyuk responded as he unwrapped the gum. Kihyun opened his mouth, expectant and immediately rewarded.

“I just wanted you to make another friend, is all.” Kihyun blew a bubble for punctuation.

“Why?” The bubble was popped with a finger and exasperation ensued. Minhyuk giggled. “Are you tired of me?”

Kihyun shook his head. “I’ll _never_ be tired of you,” he spoke more quietly as he continued. “But you need to make more friends. What if I’m not around?”

“Are you going somewhere?”

“Not yet,” Kihyun laughed.

Minhyuk thought, silent. “Don’t worry. I have another friend in mind.”

 

 

 

\- 10 -

 

“Why aren’t you eating those ones?” Kihyun pointed at Changkyun’s lunchbox.

Changkyun popped another grape in his mouth before responding. “Rotten.”

“Are _not_ ,” Kihyun leaned over to take a closer look. Changkyun helpfully pushed his container closer to the middle of the cafeteria table. With a satisfied nod, Kihyun took one of the undesirables and chewed. “These are just bruised. Bruised ones taste sweeter.”

Changkyun nodded wisely, but continued to select only the cleanest of the grapes. He kept the grapes in the middle of the two of them, with Kihyun taking over the rejected ones.

“Kihyun’s right,” Minhyuk confidentially bit into a browning grape, pretending to smile through a grimace. “Try them out!”

Jooheon glared at Minhyuk. “Let Changkyun eat whatever he wants.”

Like clockwork, the table’s non-grape-eating occupants began their quarreling. Coincidentally, the telltale signs of of Minhyuk’s daily headache also rose up. How he wished he had one day of a peaceful lunch hour.

“What’s wrong with trying something different for a change?”

“What’s wrong is that he doesn’t _want to_.”

“He shouldn’t be so picky!”

“Oh yeah? And if he dies of poisoning?”

“Bruised grapes aren’t _poisoned,_ ” Minhyuk rolled his eyes. “What if there are only bruised grapes left in the world? Is he gonna starve?”

“If that’s what he wants,” Jooheon leaned back against his seat, crossing his arms. “In fact, I’ll personally make sure he never eats a bruised grape, ever.”

For the life of him, Minhyuk could not understand what Kihyun or Changkyun saw in this Jooheon kid. And so, the two continued to bicker while the grapes slowly disappeared, shared by two perfectly content kids happily munching away.

 

◇

 

“Welcome, young master Lee!” An elderly gentleman opened the heavy double doors for the guests. “And I see you’ve brought a friend, as well?”

“Uncle Hongsik!” Jooheon stepped forward for a quick hug, causing a chuckle from the butler. “Yeah, this is Kihyun.”

“Whoa,” Kihyun trailed off, marveling at the bejeweled interior of the mansion as he stepped inside. “And I thought _your_ house was huge.”

“Yep! Changkyun is an actual prince,” Jooheon nodded as he helped Kihyun out of his jacket and made a beeline for the coat closet, swatting the butler’s protests to hang them, himself. When he joined Kihyun again, he added, “But when I grow up, I’m gonna buy my _own_ palace.” The two stood there for a moment, lost in their own thoughts.

“Kihyun, over here!” A voice from above shook them from their reverie. Kihyun looked up to see Minhyuk waving from a railing two floors above them.

 

Changkyun drew circles with his toes, eyeing Kihyun as he walked through the halls. “You have _three rooms_? A whole room for your toys! And how is everything so clean? Is that a window on the _ceiling_? But there’s a floor above this one… how is that _possible_...” Kihyun whipped around in suspicion. “Do you pay your servants good?”

Changkyun froze. “I… don’t know,” he dropped to a whisper.

Kihyun cocked his head at a flustered Changkyun for a moment longer before he became distracted again, walking into Changkyun’s bedroom.

“Did you draw those?” Kihyun asked once he reached the far end of the room, inspecting a wall of unframed pencil drawings carefully stuck up with tape.

“Mhmm,” Changkyun nodded, adjusting his glasses as he looked behind him and prayed either one of the other boys could join him for company. To his disappointment, they sounded rather occupied in the toy room next door.

Kihyun stayed silent for the longest time as he inspected the drawings, tracing his fingers just over the lines without touching them. “What are they?” He finally spoke, still preoccupied by the artwork.

“Wildflowers.”

“Hmm,” Kihyun nodded before turning to Changkyun. “Don’t kids with parents get their art put up on the fridge or something?”

“Um,” Changkyun faltered, pulling at the hem of his shirt. He kept his eyes on the ground and said a quiet, “not mine.”

Kihyun’s critical squint turned wide upon realization before he furrowed his brows. “Parents are good for nothing,” he said firmly. “What do they know?”

His mouth agape, Changkyun looked up.

Kihyun glanced back at the drawings once more and nodded in confirmation. “I think they’re great.”

And Changkyun positively beamed.

 

“I can’t wait to see your face when you open my birthday present,” Jooheon declared as he entered the room. Changkyun held his arms out, opening and closing his hands.

“Nuh-uh, you gotta wait until the party.”

Kihyun looked between the two. “What party?”

“His birthday party.”

“Hey!” Minhyuk yelled in surprise, joining the other three in the bedroom. “Why am I not invited to this party?”

“You don’t wanna be invited. It’s lame,” Changkyun shook his head, belly-flopping onto his bed.

“It’s really a party for the parents. And I’m only invited because my dad’s invited,” Jooheon grumbled. “We gotta talk all proper. And we can’t even pop the balloons because the adults would freak out.”

“A waste of balloons,” Changkyun mourned from his sprawled out state, sinking further into the plush bedding.

“But presents!” Minhyuk retorted.

“ _Jooheon_ ,” Kihyun called out in a sing-song voice. “How come you told me no presents were allowed when you bought one?”

Jooheon raised his arms up in surrender. “I said I didn’t bring one _today_.”

“I didn’t bring anything, either,” Minhyuk looked down at his empty palms. “I guess that means my present has to be this,” and with that, he collapsed on Changkyun, their limbs tangling together as Minhyuk unleashed his tickling on Changkyun.

Kihyun fell on top of Minhyuk next, laughing at Changkyun’s squirms and half-hearted protests, seeing the birthday boy clearing enjoying the affection.

“Since you’re a prince, it’s only right that this is my gift,” Kihyun spoke before fishing for Changkyun’s hand and planting a soft kiss.

Changkyun momentarily stopped squirming, staring frozen, before Minhyuk launched his second attack and sent Changkyun into a fit of giggles.

“Changkyun has a new best friend,” Minhyuk declared.

“Do _not_ ,” Changkyun vehemently shook his head and looked at Jooheon in alarm. “He’s lying!”

“Oh yeah? Are we fighting for first place now?” Jooheon dropped himself on top of the pile. “Too bad I already won.” He peeked over the two heads and blew a kiss at Changkyun, who caught it in mid-air and safely put it in his pocket.

“Is that so?” Minhyuk craned his neck to grin at Jooheon above him. The infectious smile he received in return radiated happiness through him from the top of his head to the tips of his toes. Maybe this Jooheon kid wasn’t so bad, after all.

 

 

 

\- 13 -

 

Minhyuk glanced up from his textbook every now and then. The outdoor court's natural light had dwindled as twilight transformed into dusk. But the sheer joy of the two players lit up the place with their own shine.

"Traveling!" Jooheon yelled as he pounced on his opponent from the back, laughing. "You're traveling!"

"Lies!" Kihyun attempted to wriggle away, the ball hugged safely against his chest with both arms. He scanned the sidelines from the corner of his eye. "Refs, help me out here!"

"Not so sure," Minhyuk tapped a pencil to his chin. "What do you say, Changkyun?"

From the far side of the court, Changkyun stood up and waved his collected dandelions. "Yellow card, player Yoo!"

"You're the best, ref!" Jooheon's grip on Kihyun remained tight, propelling the latter forward and breaking him into a pleased grin, despite himself.

Minhyuk laughed at Kihyun's desperate face as he continued pleading. "Sorry, can't get you out of this one, buddy." He amusedly watched his friend's attempts to win his way regardless, before his eyes traveled to his co-referee.

"Ref Im, over here!" Minhyuk waved and patted the ground next to him. Changkyun surveyed the scene on the court once more before slowly making his way towards Minhyuk and crouched down next to him.

"Find anything interesting?"

Changkyun shook his head. He browsed the patch of grass lining the edge of the court, letting a ladybug climb from a blade of grass and onto his finger. He raised it up to eye-level for a moment’s inspection. Finally, with care, Changkyun carefully brought the ladybug back down, waiting until it walked across the back of his hand and finally climbed onto the ground.

“Notebook, please,” he motioned towards Minhyuk’s backpack.

“Not today. I have a better idea,” Minhyuk fished for a pen and offered it to Changkyun before rolling up his sleeve on his arm.

“Won’t you get in trouble?”

“Worth it,” Minhyuk grinned. “Let’s show off your drawings for once. Go on,” he encouraged, lifting his arm up.

Hesitating, Changkyun took his new-found tools and went to work.

"You know," Minhyuk spoke after some time. "You don't need to be jealous of Kihyun. He's not gonna steal Jooheon from you. He gave me his word."

Changkyun looked at Minhyuk, puzzled. "I'm not jealous of Kihyun." He momentarily looked up at the one-on-one game in progress to yell out, to Jooheon's delight, "Player Lee gets a free throw!"

Kihyun spun in his heels. "On what grounds?"

"On the grounds that I feel like it."

"Ref!" Kihyun squawked in alarm as Jooheon wrestled the ball from his grip. "Minhyuk, do you hear this? Outrageous! Favoritism!"

"Careful, ref Im," Minhyuk raised a brow at Changkyun. "Or I'm gonna have to give _you_ a yellow card."

Changkyun stuck a dandelion behind his ear and dropped his head on Minhyuk’s shoulder. "Worth it."

 

◇

 

“Did you get proof #3?”

“Yeah, like an hour ago. I’m not an idiot, Minhyuk.”

“I mean, did you _understand_ it? I feel like you didn’t understand it.”

With Kihyun preoccupied that evening, Jooheon’s sofa was only filled up by the remaining three. Sandwiched in the middle, Changkyun brought his knees closer to his chest while holding up his sketchbook. The attempt at a more comfortable position was hardly successful, with his friends’ two backs resting against either of his arms.

Jooheon grumbled, shaking Changkyun’s drawing hand. “If you don’t want to help me, just say so. Our ranks aren’t gonna change because of one problem.”

From the other side, Minhyuk leaned his head back until he hit Changkyun’s ear. “I’m just saying, if you got proof #3, you wouldn’t be asking me about #7 right now.”

“Can one of you move?” Changkyun finally spoke up, pushing his glasses up his nose. Almost in unison, he felt the two shifting, but not to provide him any relief.

“You heard him, Jooheon.”

“This is _my_ house.”

Changkyun sighed. Without warning, he slinked down from the sofa onto the ground. The sudden lack of support made the other two fall backwards and knock heads, inciting protests and obscenities.

“It’s what you guys get,” Changkyun mumbled.

Despite their verbal grievances continuing to no end, the other two scooted backwards until their backs were resting against each other’s (“Don’t even wanna see him from my peripherals,” Minhyuk had declared). They remained in their new position for the rest of the evening. Finally content, Changkyun put on his headphones, stretched his limbs out, and began drawing with renewed interest.

 

Later that night, Changkyun walked back to the living room with a snack in hand to a Minhyuk carefully placing a pillow beneath a dozing Jooheon’s head.

“Oh, uh,” Minhyuk stood up when he noticed Changkyun. “He would’ve woken up with a crick in his neck! That’d make the brat even more unbearable to be around, alright?”

Biting down a grin, Changkyun gave a noncommittal nod.

“I mean,” Minhyuk forged on, making exaggerated arm movements at the sleeping boy. “What kind of host is he, anyway? You’d never catch _me_ sleeping while I still have guests.”

Changkyun shrugged. “He had conditioning today.”

“See, that's the problem! Track _and_ accelerated classes? And on top of that, he can’t say no to hanging out with _anybody._  But he's too stubborn to drop anything. Such a big head,” Minhyuk finished with a grumble.

“He likes the challenge,” Changkyun’s eyes rested on a sleeping Jooheon behind Minhyuk.

“I guess,” Minhyuk toed the floor. “But I wish he weren’t so hard on himself. He’s doing great already. Someone oughta tell him.”

“Someone oughta.”

Minhyuk cleared his throat. “Okay, well. It’s getting late so I better call my mom to pick me up.” He turned to put his books into his backpack before he spun around.

“You better not tell Jooheon any of this.”

Changkyun glanced at Jooheon again, just in time to see the tiniest trace of smile, his eyes still closed.

“My lips are sealed.”

 

◇

 

The bleachers were hardly speckled with spectators despite Minhyuk arriving late. He searched among first round of athletes speeding through the track as he walked down the aisle. Once he confirmed that he wasn’t too late, he let out a sigh of relief and relaxed, taking a seat.

When Jooheon finally step up to the starting line, Minhyuk straightened up. The line of runners took their mark, and with the sound of the buzzer, they took off. Minhyuk took a deep breath, and from the bottom of his lungs, he began screaming the loudest he could.

“GO JOOHEON, GO GO GO GET THAT FIRST PLACE- NO WHAT ARE YOU _DOING_?”

Minhyuk screams turned into shrieks when a confused Jooheon slowed down at the cheers uncharacteristic for the event. Fortunately, so did a few of his competitors, all shocked at the blood-curdling noises coming from the bleachers. Once Jooheon could pinpoint the person to the voice, he smiled widely as he doubled in speed.

“FASTER, JOOHEON, FASTER! LEE JOOHEON, LEE JOOHEON.”

Minhyuk’s screams were relentless throughout the 800-meter event, with the nearby spectators somewhat humored but mostly concerned for this boy and his deepening cherry-red face.

With the other runners trailing behind, Jooheon easily crossed the finish line first. He slowed down to a jog as he approached the spectators. Finding Minhyuk waving down at him, he pointed to the parking lot and signaled a _two minutes_ before disappearing into the locker entrance.

“Why didn’t you shower? You smell like piss,” Minhyuk remarked when the two met on level ground.

Jooheon took a swig of his water, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Wanted you to smell my victory since you wanted it so badly.” He proceeded to wrap an arm over Minhyuk, who began to gag. “There’s no such thing as first place during preliminaries, by the way.”

“Correction, you got first place, so it clearly is a thing.”

Jooheon grinned. “I stand corrected.” He steering the two towards the subway entrance when Minhyuk pulled him back.

“What are you doing? My mom can give us a ride home.”

“Nah, let’s take the train. I’m feeling good today.”

Minhyuk thought for all of two seconds before being willingly led by the other.

 

“So, why did you come today?”

“Changkyun said your dad couldn’t make it, so.”

Minhyuk straddled his legs, hands-free, in an attempt to stay upright as the train rumbled through the tunnel. Meanwhile, Jooheon had wrapped both arms around a nearby pole, resting his forehead against the cool metal.

“It wasn’t a major tournament,” Jooheon spoke again.

Minhyuk took a step forward to hold onto the pole with one hand and gently swung to and fro with the moving motion. “You were practicing like it was.”

Jooheon shrugged. “Come to the next one.”

“Why?”

“Your screams help distract the other runners. Give me another first place,” Jooheon grinned.

Minhyuk swung forward until his face was hardly a distance from the other, making Jooheon’s smile falter. “And what do I get in return?”

“Ice-cream,” Jooheon breathed out after a moment’s pause. He cleared his throat and spoke louder. “I’m feeling like ice-cream. Right now. Wanna go?”

Minhyuk widened his eyes. “You and me?”

“Well, yeah. Unless you want me to invite this guy,” he nodded his head at the nearby passenger dozing away near them.

“No way,” Minhyuk scoffed. “I don’t want my first ever date to be with _you._ ”

It was Jooheon’s turn to pull a surprised face. “Who said this was a date?” He shook his head. “Have you never gone to an ice-cream parlor with Kihyun?”

“I mean, Kihyun’s my friend!” Minhyuk held the pole tightly with both hands, his knuckles whitening from the grip. “This is different!”

“Different,” Jooheon sounded the word slowly. “How is this different?”

Minhyuk blinked, then straightened to compose himself. “Because you’re not my friend, Lee Jooheon.”

A grin grew on Jooheon’s lips and he didn’t bother to bite it down. “And you would go on dates with non-friends like me?”

Minhyuk suddenly clutched his stomach. “I don’t feel so good. I’m gonna be sick and it’s because you smell so _bad_.”

Jooheon sympathetically patted Minhyuk’s shoulder. “There’s no problem a scoop of rocky road can’t fix. My treat.”

“I hate you.”

 

 

 

\- 16 -

 

“You did _what_ with _who_?”

Changkyun knew Jooheon should’ve broken the news earlier. Definitely not right then, when Kihyun was exhausted from his second straight overnight shift and reeked of reheated oil. The four had taken refugee inside the fast-food place to momentarily escape the late summer heat.

“He had a fight with Jackson,” Changkyun responded calmly, stuffing fries into Jooheon’s mouth before he could answer. “These things happen, Kihyun.”

“I stand by what I did,” Jooheon’s words were muttered around a mouthful of food. “Fuck the social hierarchy. Hey!” He winced at Kihyun’s kick against his shin below the booth’s table, rubbing where he got hit.

“A fallout with the eleventh grade king, and he has the _nerve_ to be proud about it.” Kihyun dropped his head onto Minhyuk’s lap in dismay. “We’re toast,” he finished with a grumble.

“Don’t underestimate Jooheon,” Changkyun scoffed as he continued feeding him fries. “What makes you think he won’t set up his own rival faction?”

"No matter, then." Kihyun continued out of sight below the booth, ignoring Changkyun. "We've dropped the bone. Time to move on with our bottom rung social lives."  
  
"It’s 'to drop the ball’," Jooheon finally spoke with an empty mouth after a sip of soda.  
  
"Look at us," Kihyun's words floated up from below. "Basing our existence on word choice and grammar instead of power and gravitas. Like mere mortals." Kihyun's eyes fluttered to a close to drive the direness of the situation home.  
  
"But we _are_ mortals,” Changkyun frowned. “We’re not gods, because we actually have to face the consequences of our actions.”

“Unlike the popular kids. Present company not included,” Minhyuk helpfully offered, to Jooheon’s offense. “I like Jooheon better now that he’s unpopular.”  
  
“Imagine this,” Kihyun smiled, his eyes still closed. "No rules. No consequences. No weight on your shoulders, no shackles tied to your ankles. Now doesn’t that sound nice?”

“Sounds scary, is how it sounds. Like chaos,” Jooheon scrunched his nose. Minhyuk hummed in agreement.

Changkyun thought for a moment “Maybe just for one day.”

 

◇

 

“Holy shit.”

The three turned towards the arcade entrance as a newly-platinum blond boy made his way over to them, giving a sheepish wave before stuffing his hands back into his jacket.

“It’s _beautiful_ ,” Minhyuk cooed when Changkyun reached them, immediately moving in for a closer look.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were gonna dye your hair?” Jooheon’s anger was short-lived, though. He stepped up to join Minhyuk, adjusting a stray strand on Changkyun’s forehead. “You look fucking _hot_.”

“Surprise,” Changkyun’s eyes quickly flitted to the third person still standing a ways from him.

With the other two’s attention taken over by a nearby claw machine, Kihyun reduced the space in between himself and Changkyun. He brought up a hesitant hand to trace where the roots met skin. Changkyun fluttered his eyes to a close when he felt fingers ghosting over his ear with unhurried agency, before disappearing.

“So, I heard you didn’t go to school today.”

Changkyun opened his eyes. Kihyun had taken a step back and had arms crossed over his chest.  Changkyun mirrored his move, an eyebrow raised. “Did you?”

“That’s not the point,” Kihyun snapped. “I had to work. I didn’t have an _option._ ”

“Alright, well, I had an option, and I chose not to go.” Changkyun examined his fingernails with disinterest.

Kihyun balked. “That’s not the same-”

“What the hell,” Jooheon swore next to them, while Minhyuk opted to slam his fists against the glass in annoyance. “This claw machine is rigged.”

Changkyun snorted. “We don’t even need coins to win that game, you know.”

“How?” Jooheon and Minhyuk turned towards him, expectant.

“Teamwork,” Changkyun turned towards Kihyun with his arm outstretched. “Lend a hand?”

“Only if you say you’ll go to school,” Kihyun tilted his head, his brows still furrowed.

Changkyun shrugged, his eyes glinting in the flashing neon lights. “I’ll go if you go.”

“You’re terrible, Im Changkyun.”

 

◇

 

“How is this not trespassing, again?” Jooheon tentatively stepped out onto the rooftop, the remaining posse behind him. “And how high up are we?”

“Because my dad owns this building and eventually, I will.” Changkyun stood out in the open with his hands on his hips, inhaling the night air. “And we’re 32 stories up.”

“Keyword there being you _will._ You don't yet,” Kihyun walked through the door next with Minhyuk in tow. “If we get caught, are you bailing us out?”

Changkyun mused, the soft edges of a smirk visible in his profile. “Do you not trust me?”

“Only if you give me one reason not to,” Kihyun pushed back his shoulders in defiance, despite every alarm bell in his head going off.

“You really need to stop entertaining Minhyuk’s every wish,” Jooheon complained at an amused Changkyun. “That kid doesn’t know what’s good for him- Minhyuk, be careful!” Jooheon nearly shrieked when the subject ran towards the edge of the building.

“Don’t be a baby,” Minhyuk yelled back. “Come here and check out this view!”

“Fuck you, I’ll be a baby all I want-” Jooheon’s response was cut off by his own screaming at the figure running back to take him towards his undeniable doom.

Minhyuk wrestled a flailing Jooheon and eventually resorted to the unfair advantage of a ticklish body to weaken his power. With an arm draped over his neck, he all but dragged the boy to the edge. The remaining two followed, flanking the walking wrestling match in amusement.

When the landscape finally came into their sight, Jooheon’s screams stopped. The sound of the city was all but muted from this height, muffled and distant as if the four were on another world. The twinkling lights of the city’s grid blurred together, mostly soft yellows with dots of red and blue breaking up the expanse.

He felt Minhyuk’s grip on him loosen, and Jooheon unconsciously brought his own arm up to wrap around Minhyuk’s, bridging the gap. With his other hand, he felt for Changkyun’s and held it tightly. On the other side, Kihyun wrapped his arm around Minhyuk, shivering in the sudden gusts of wind that blew through them.

“Yeah,” Jooheon spoke again after some silence, their senses electrified and yet at a complete standstill despite that time of day and that part of their lives. “This is nice.” And he swore he never felt more alive.

 

“Remind me again what I have to gain from this relationship?"

"My priceless wit, my unbeatable charm, and my irresistible hair.”

Changkyun puckered his lips at a deadpan Kihyun as the four piled into his car. It was later that night and the four were now out of breath, having narrowly escaped a security guard chasing after them down the building. The kids had eventually resorted to taking the stairs down to drop their tail.

“Shotgun!” Minhyuk’s declaration was followed by a small scuffle, until a disgruntled Jooheon took his place next to Kihyun in the back. Kihyun tsked at Jooheon’s fallen face, wrapped an arm around his shoulder and ruffled his hair into a wild mess.

Changkyun slammed the gas pedal and with that, they were off. The two sitting in the front whooped and hollered in contrast with the fear-ridden screams emitted from the backseat. Minhyuk and Changkyun shared a glint as wind whipped their hair, and the world faded into nothingness.

  
The four were far from perfect.

And yet Minhyuk wasn’t sure if he would want it any other way.

 

◇

 

“Jooheon!” Kihyun hissed, sticking his head out of the classroom. “It’s the middle of study hall!”

“I’ll be back in 10,” Jooheon shushed.

“I swear to god, if he’s dragging you to do bathroom graffiti again-”

“He needs a lookout. He can’t get another mark on his record, okay? Five minutes.”

“Alright, that’s it,” Kihyun ducked back into the room to murmur an excuse to the teacher before meeting Jooheon in the hallway. “I’m having a word with him today.”

The two walked down to meet a black beanie peeking up above the locker bay.

“Do you like it? Figured I’d try a couple of colors at once, you know, to save time.” Changkyun sheepishly pulled off his beanie, revealing previously-platinum blond hair now speckled with a multi-colored prism of pastels.

Jooheon drew a low whistle.

Kihyun brought his hand up to thread his fingers through Changkyun’s hair. He trailed through the pinks and lilacs and baby blues until he reached the bare skin on the back of his neck, resting his hand there ever so gently. Changkyun froze, blinking in mild surprise before a shy smile grew on his face. “You like it.”

That brought Kihyun out of his stupor. He yanked his hand away with a frown. “Changkyun, you need to stop this.”

“Dyeing my hair? ”

“No, _this_.” Anger seeped into Kihyun’s voice. “You bullshitting your way through school, making us hyper-aware of your every move so you don’t throw away your future. I’m tired of it.”

When Changkyun spoke, he was quiet. “I didn’t ask for your 24/7 surveillance.”

“Maybe you should head back to class,” Jooheon put a hand on Kihyun’s shoulder, only to be immediately brushed aside.

“We can’t act like we don’t care, Changkyun,” Kihyun shook his head. “We can’t sit still while you’re out there ruining your chances-”

“Ruining my chances at what?” Changkyun’s laugh was hollow. “My confirmed college acceptance as a legacy student? A comfy career plan laid out by my father dearest? I never wanted those chances in the first place.”

“Are you kidding me?” Kihyun asked incredulously. “At least pretend to give a shit that your friends are worried sick over you-”

“I could say the same for you, what with your talks of dropping out and Minhyuk constantly having to beg you to stay-”

“You still don’t get it, do you? There are people out there, working their asses off, to be handed a tenth of what was handed to you-”

“Kihyun,” Jooheon warned, louder this time. “You need to go.”

“Maybe I don’t want to roll over and accept my fate, unlike some of us,” Changkyun bristled, shoving his glasses up his nose.

"So what's your endgame, then? Do you have a plan for this shit?"

"Why does everything need to be planned out? Can't I just do things my way to feel something, for once?"

“What the hell are you trying to prove?”

“That I, at least, have some power over my life.”

“Listen,” Kihyun began. “ _Everyone_ has to settle. Rebelling against this fate of yours doesn’t make you as much a martyr so much as it does a privileged _child._ ” He spat out the final word, breathing hard.

“Right,” Jooheon placed a palm on Kihyun’s chest, his jaw clenched, and firmly pushed until the latter took a step back. “You’re leaving. Now.”

Hearing his own words a moment too late, Kihyun backed up, his face softening to regret as he struggled to urge Changkyun’s eyes to meet his own.

Changkyun kept his stare on Kihyun’s receding shoes until he had rounded the corner, out of sight. Finally, the dam burst, a wave of emotions tiding over him until his vision blurred and all he could hear was his own heartbeat ringing in his ears. And this time, his friend’s ears could hear them.

 

◇

 

“I told you not to feed bread to the ducks.”

Kihyun didn’t bother to turn around at the voice. Instead, he stuffed the remainder of his sandwich into his pocket, staring off into the pond.

“I messed up.” It was a statement of fact, not an apology. But it was a start.

“Damn fucking right, you did.” Jooheon dropped his backpack before sliding his legs across the brick wall to sit next to the other. Kihyun really did a number on the birds today. Jooheon made a mental note to come back later with birdseed to balance out their diet.

Kihyun dropped his face into his hands and released a muffled sigh. He had no words to share, for once. Jooheon would’ve been impressed, if his shoulders weren’t still freshly wet from his best friend’s tears. A little alone time with his guilt won’t hurt him.

“Am I terrible?” Kihyun lifted up his head and finally looked at Jooheon, his eyes weary and bloodshot.

“Sure are,” Jooheon leaned back to get a better look at the boy beside him. “Terrible at tact. Terrible at keeping your emotions in check. Terrible at knowing when to stop talking. But terribly, awfully good at pretending you don’t like him back.”

“Jooheon, we went over this. I can’t like him _back_ if-”

“How dare you,” Jooheon cut him off, “claim that you know him better than me? To my face, no less.”

“And besides,” Kihyun continued, mumbling. “He deserves better than me.”

Jooheon mercifully rubbed his back. “A valid point.” He shifted, turning his attention back ahead. “Changkyun deserves the world. Let him figure out just what that means.”

“So.” Kihyun took a deep breath. “Now what?”

“Dinner at my place, come on. You already fucked up enough appetites today so don’t hurt yours, too. My dad’s making fish tacos.”

 

◇

 

“Changkyun told me everything,” Minhyuk began, breathless over the phone.

The knot in Kihyun’s stomach twisted. “I know, I need to tell him I’m sor-”

“He wants to apologize, but he said he needs some time.”

“But-”

“Look, he’s a mess right now, okay?” Minhyuk took a deep breath. “There’s a lot going on with him. But that doesn’t give him a pass for yesterday.”

“Minhyuk, listen to me,” Kihyun’s voice broke. “He did nothing wrong. _I’m_ the one who needs to apologize.”

There was silence over the other line. “Not from what he’s told me.”

Kihyun closed his eyes. “I’ll talk to him. When he’s ready, I’ll talk to him.”

“Don’t beat yourself up over this, Kihyun.”

It was Kihyun’s turn to opt for silence. He attempted a laugh. “Everything’s gonna change soon, isn’t it. With college and us all splitting up.”

“Splitting up?” Kihyun heard an offensive squawk. “You should thank your lucky stars I can’t punch you right now.”

Kihyun smiled, genuinely this time. “I’m glad you and Jooheon ended up choosing the same college, at least.”

“Whatever,” Minhyuk clicked his tongue. “What’s important is that my college is close enough to your technical school. I’m gonna drag you away at every break we get.”

“I’m all yours.”

“And don’t you forget it!” The line shared laughter from both ends before Minhyuk spoke again. “Listen, Kihyun? Tell me you’ll wait for him.”

A beat. And then, “I will.”

 

 

 

\- 20 -

 

Minhyuk peeked over his laptop to see Jooheon absentmindedly pulling at fistfulls of his hair while staring at his textbook. He smiled when the strands remained stuck up even after Jooheon removed his hand. Minhyuk flitted his eyes back to his own screen when Jooheon looked up.

“Why are you in my room again?”

“Because,” Minhyuk began with an exaggerated sigh. “ _Somebody’s_ too proud to admit when they need my help.”

“We’re in two completely unrelated majors.”

“Doesn’t matter. You need me.”

“My roommate’s coming back from class soon.” Jooheon slid off his bed and picked up a snack from the shelf. He accusingly pointed at Minhyuk mid-bites, crumbs falling from his half-eaten cookie. “This wouldn’t have been a problem if you had agreed to be my roommate.”

“What, me living with you?” Minhyuk scoffed. “I told you, that’d never work out.”

Jooheon stared evenly at an unperturbed Minhyuk as he chewed.

Minhyuk stood up, stretching nonchalantly. “I’ll take this as my cue to leave, then. But first,” he took a step and poked Jooheon’s chest. “You gotta promise me you’ll convince Changkyun to fly down to meet us on our getaway trip this break.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Jooheon, it’s been _years_.”

“Not true, they’ve met.”

“You know those don’t count. Neither of them will have a chance to run away this time. They _have_ to talk about it.”

Jooheon shook his head. “Cornering them could make things worse.”

“It could,” Minhyuk paused in thought. “But haven’t we given them enough time?”

“I just,” Jooheon spoke quietly. “I don’t want to see them hurt again.”

“Of course you don’t,” Minhyuk reached to rub Jooheon’s arm, softening the frown on the latter’s face. “Wouldn’t I know how much they mean to you? But the longer they stay quiet, the harder it’ll be to open up. Believe me.”

Jooheon toed the floor. “We can only push them so far.”

Minhyuk nodded. “But we should push them that far, at least. Let’s take them there. After that, what they do is up to them.”

“You’re right.” Jooheon sighed. “I’ll talk to him tonight.”

“See? I told you that you needed me.” Minhyuk’s grin was immediately erased as he yelped at the sudden punch on his shoulder.

“Out, now.”

 

◇

 

“Whose vacation choice was this again?” Jooheon stepped out of the backseat of the car, stretching his limbs after the long drive. “We’re gonna look like morons being on the beach in sub-zero weather.”

Minhyuk turned off the ignition and whispered to Kihyun, “So he won’t look all that different from his usual self, then.” He received a slap on the arm in return.

“We had no other choice,” Minhyuk responded as he exited, this time loud enough for Jooheon to hear. “Because I’m a broke college student who can only afford oceanfront hotels during the off-season.”

“Or we could’ve bunked up at a cheap motel in the summer.”

“A _motel_?” Minhyuk looked at Jooheon, incredulous. “I may not have money, but I have class.”

Jooheon shared an eye-roll with Kihyun while heaving his bag over his shoulder. The trio made their way into the hotel.

“Alternatively, I could’ve paid for us,” Jooheon spoke up again when they got inside.

“You mean your dad could’ve paid,” Minhyuk raised a brow at a sheepish Jooheon mumbling something about how it’s not his fault that only software internships pay so well.

Kihyun smiled at Jooheon, nudging him. “Tell you what, you can treat us once we graduate.”

Jooheon straightened up at that. “Then prepare to be amazed in two years.”

“You bet. So,” Kihyun focused his gaze on the back of Minhyuk’s head as the latter busied himself with the receptionist. “When’s the flight landing?”

“Not until tonight,” Jooheon responded, training his eyes on Kihyun’s face. “You’ll be okay?”

Still staring ahead, Kihyun searched for Jooheon’s hand and gripped it tightly.

 

◇

 

The alarm broke the peace much too early for Changkyun’s taste. He shot up from his bed shared with a surprisingly still Jooheon, squinting around at the pitch black room. Meanwhile, Kihyun lunged for Minhyuk’s phone on the nightstand to turn off the source of the noise.

Getting ready was a mostly-silent affair. Changkyun waited until Kihyun was done moving about and sat back down on his bed, his phone’s blue light illuminating his droopy eyes. Once Changkyun was ready, it was Minhyuk and Jooheon’s turn, with the two muttering unintelligible things as they bumped into each other while they washed up.

Kihyun grabbed a couple of the hotel towels before the four made their way down to the lobby. When they stepped outside, the world was still as dark as night, their path only lit up by the boardwalk’s lighting fixtures up ahead. Changkyun shivered despite his coat, all too awake now from the frigid sea breeze blowing through them. As they walked, Minhyuk hugged Changkyun from behind, resting his cheek against his shoulder while matching his steps.

The group reached the sand’s edge, and Kihyun scoured the area before plopping down midway, bringing a towel-wrapped Jooheon down with him. Minhyuk and Changkyun followed suit.

“Why did you bring us here,” Jooheon’s words were still slurred with sleep, a trace of a whine evident. “An oceanfront room and we still had to come outside.” He gently headbutted Kihyun until the latter lied down with his hands behind his head. Jooheon joined him on the sand, resting his head against the crook of Kihyun’s elbow and nuzzled closer for warmth.

“I’m sorry, okay,” Minhyuk response was equally sleepy next to Changkyun. “I was wrong, is that what you want me to say?”

Jooheon mumbled in response, ending with a yawn.

Changkyun looked at his phone to check the time. He looked out across the sea and towards the horizon in front of them, and waited.

The first few shades of the sky were almost incomprehensible from one another, from darkness to just a little less so. Perhaps if Changkyun had closed his eyes for a few minutes in between, he might’ve been able to better catch the shifting colors. He tried to make out the edge of the ocean before it spilled off into the other side of the world.

He heard a shift to his side as Kihyun propped up a protesting Jooheon, and then he patted Minhyuk to a slightly more awake condition.

As if hearing Changkyun’s thoughts, the colors surged forward faster to paint the skies. Deep violets and hints of purples joined the dark greys, battling it out and finally overtaking the night. Following them were magentas and pinks, bringing with them the first of the yellows. Soon enough, the far end of the sky was awash with all the colors of peaches, until finally the crescent of the bright orange sun peeked out in greeting.

Changkyun inhaled deeply, having forgotten to breathe for a while, and the salty air filled his lungs to maximum capacity. He took another breath, suddenly feeling powerful, free, liberated, as if a physical constraint had been lifted. Like he was no longer separate from what was ahead, but as a part of a whole, part of all of the splendor and magic nature was flaunting in front of him. Felt like he was flying. Like-

“Feels like we’re gods, doesn’t it.”

Changkyun turned his head around. Kihyun was looking at him with curiosity, a hesitant smile on his lips. With the sun casting a soft glow on his skin and his eyes a twinkling warmth of brown, he looked positively ethereal and Changkyun wished he could etch that moment directly into his heart. He smiled, pushing his glasses up and turning back towards the ever-changing waters.

“Like we’re immortal.”

 

◇

 

“Be _quiet_ , it’s 1 in the morning.” Jooheon steadied Minhyuk from nearly crashing into shrubbery.

“Ah, the night is young,” Minhyuk mused, looking up at the stars. “Why did we leave the party so early?”

“Because you’re a drunk nuisance.”

“I’m not drunk.”

“I can’t believe you’re a goner after a single can of beer. _Beer,_ ” Jooheon snorted. “Fuckin’ lightweight.”

Minhyuk paused in his tracks. “Who are you calling a lightweight?” He spun on his heel, made a window with his fingers, and rammed his shoulder into Jooheon’s chest.

The force sent Jooheon stepping backwards and making contact against a pillar with a dull thud.

Minhyuk gasped, trying to blink the stupor away.

“ _Ow_ ,” Jooheon held the back of his head.

“Oh no, no, _no_ , what have I done?”

Seeing Minhyuk’s dramatic reaction, Jooheon deepened his pout.

Minhyuk reached out his hands to cradle Jooheon’s head. “Does it hurt?”

Jooheon nodded, pretending to be in immense pain.

“I’m so sorry… now you’re gonna get amnesia and it’s all gonna be my _fault_ ,” Minhyuk looked like he was about to cry.

“Sike,” Jooheon gently pushed Minhyuk away and continued walking, whistling a happy tune as if nothing happened.

“Lee Jooheon, you monster!”

Minhyuk tackled him from the back and the two tumbled down the grassy slope. When they stopped, Minhyuk prevailed on top, releasing a triumphant “a-ha” to echo around the vicinity.

“As I thought, a lightweight,” Jooheon grinned up at him.

Minhyuk leaned down, hands positioned on either side of Jooheon’s head for support. "You're cute."

Jooheon frowned.

Reducing their proximity, Minhyuk’s eyes fluttered to a close, his breath warm and faintly smelling of alcohol and candy on Jooheon’s lips.

Then, as quickly as it begun, Jooheon shoved Minhyuk off him.

“You’re drunk,” he stood, dusting himself off before reaching down to give a hand.

“Am not,” Minhyuk haphazardly hoisted himself up. “You don’t wanna kiss me.” Visibly upset and making no attempt to hide it, immediately started walking away.

“No,” Jooheon jogged to catch up. “Not when you’re drunk.”

“I’m not _drunk._ ”

“Fine. Not today, then. Kiss me another day.”

“No. I’m not kissing you. Ever.”

Jooheon laughed. “Sure, Minhyuk.”

 

◇

 

“And then he was like, ‘I take life in stride, too bad yours isn’t long enough to keep up.’ I swear I’ve never met a bigger asshole.”  
  
“You should’ve kicked his shin right then and there. Taken him down a level.”

“Agreed with Minhyuk. Using your height in an argument is a low blow. Take him down, Kihyun.”

“Both of you are a terrible influence, you know that?” Kihyun laughed at the two faces on his screen, taking a sip from his soda and leaning back against his chair.

“Always at your service,” Jooheon grinned, bowing.

“Sorry I’m late,” a breathless fourth person joined the group video chat, half preoccupied by a subject just outside their vision.

“Changkyun!” Jooheon brought his face closer to his screen. “What’s this about doing an MBA now? Who’s got a gun at your head?”

Changkyun mouthed _Jooheon_ at the person near him before reverting his attention back to the chat. “I was convinced without any coercion. I promise,” he added when he saw Jooheon’s look of disbelief.

“An MBA?” Kihyun raised his brow. “That’s unlike the Changkyun I knew.”

Changkyun shrugged. “What makes you think you know this Changkyun?” Again, they heard commotion off-camera, followed by Changkyun’s own laughter, the most carefree they had seen in quite some time.

“Who is that?” Minhyuk peered closer. “Are you in class?”

“Not really,” Changkyun waved it off. “No you’re not!” He laughed again at the muffled response, slapping an arm that made its way into the screen. He stuck his tongue out at the person before turning towards his computer once more.

“Changkyun?”

“Don’t worry about him. How are you guys?”

Kihyun took a deep breath to compose himself. “Technical school. I’ve decided to enroll.”  
  
Changkyun stared open-mouthed. “You?”

“Me,” Kihyun fiddled with his straw. “Saved enough in the past couple of years.”

“I’ve been saying this, but it’s the best investment for you,” Jooheon spoke. “The traditional four-year colleges are a damn scam for the most of us.”

“I’m just glad you can drop your million and one part-time jobs,” Minhyuk shook his head.

“I guess,” Kihyun rubbed his arm. “I hope I don’t regret this.”

“You won’t,” Changkyun sat up straighter and firmly nodded, his former playfulness erased by serious resolution. “I promise you won’t.”

“Yeah?” Kihyun smiled tentatively.

“Yeah.”

 

 

 

\- 24 -

 

Jooheon’s arm automatically shot out to hold the person in the passenger seat in place as he slammed the breaks.

“Maybe you should keep your eyes on the road,” Minhyuk looked down at the hand on his chest. “Don’t wanna have you killed just before you move in, you know.”

Jooheon let out a nervous chuckle after catching his breath.

He pulled up to the penthouse complex and the two stepped out of the truck. “This is it,” Jooheon surveyed the truck’s interior with his hands on his hips, careful not to make eye contact with the other.

Minhyuk rolled up his sleeves and rubbed his hands together before jumping in.

One hour later, the two sprawled onto the floor of the living room surrounded by boxes and plastic-wrapped furniture.

“So, where’s my payment?” Minhyuk turned onto his side, head propped up on his hand. “You know I don’t do free labor.”

Jooheon threaded his fingers through his fringe, pushing his hair out of his forehead. “A bit too late to be requesting for a compensation contract.”

“Uh oh,” Minhyuk held his neck and contorted his face into one of pain. “I’m feeling a medical bill coming from that whiplash earlier.”

“Ass.” Jooheon attentively stared at the ceiling for some time before continuing. “I do have something to offer, but you probably aren’t interested.”

“Shoot.”

“The first month of rent.”

Seconds ticked in silence.

“You’re right. Not interested.”

Jooheon exhaled before closing his eyes. “Figured. I just thought I’d ask. Again. In case you could’ve changed your mind about living with me. And this place, it’s not much but I can say it’s mine now. Bought with my own money. But it’s okay. You have your reasons-”

He was cut off by a fleeting peck on his lips. His eyes immediately flew open to a Minhyuk’s face still hovering above his, complete with furrowed brows and a frown.

“I’m not interested in you paying my rent.” Minhyuk collapsed back down onto the ground. “I can pay my own half, thank you very much.”

Jooheon slowly sat up, shaking his head with a scoff when he saw a rather satisfied smirk directed at him. “Then how do you like to be paid, instead?”

“Surprise me.”

“As you wish.” With that, Jooheon leaned in for a proper kiss.

 

◇

 

“And you are?” Hyungwon questioned. He lifted his head up from the sofa where he was lounging with mild interest, half splayed over an absolutely unbothered Kihyun and half sitting on an equally calm Shownu.

“I’m Changkyun’s colleague,” Wonho scrunched up his nose. “Or boss, I guess.”

“Correction, he’s my babysitter,” Changkyun said with a grin, flopping down onto the opposite sofa and patting Wonho’s thigh when the latter frowned.

“A hot babysitter,” Hyungwon drawled. All eyes turned toward him with varying curiosity. He shrugged. “Hey, I just say what everyone else is thinking.”

“Hyungwon,” Kihyun hissed. “His boyfriend is right here,” he jerked his head at Changkyun  before looking at a perplexed Wonho. “I am so sorry about him.”

Wonho began, “Actually, I’m-”

“-hungry,” Changkyun finished for him. He looked curiously at Kihyun while putting a hand on Wonho’s shoulder, ushering him towards the kitchen.

“Does his fancy private plane not serve meals or what?” Hyungwon snorted at his own joke.

“Not private,” the question was received with a yell from the hall. “It’s chartered!”

Hyungwon scoffed. “Anyway. I didn’t know this reunion involved bringing your boss as a plus one,” he commented to the remaining crowd. “I’d have brought mine if I had known.”

Kihyun glared at Hyungwon. “I’m literally right here.”

“It’s really a pity,” Hyungwon continued, ignoring Kihyun. “So, Minhyuk’s boss man,” he threw an arm over the sofa’s backrest behind Shownu. “What’s your story?”

As the two talked, Kihyun sighed, finally making up his mind to revert to the returned guest who was looking at him attentively.

“Changkyun’s told me a lot about you.”

“Did he?” Kihyun tried to pass off a polite smile back to Wonho.

“Oh, yes,” Wonho nodded enthusiastically. “Growing up together must have been nice. All those stories made me wish I had a group of friends.”

Kihyun reflected with a pause. “But it’s also nice to have someone now.”

“I suppose,” Wonho looked warily at Hyungwon’s antics, complete with unabashed giggling and complete disregard for his surroundings.

“You two are good, right? Living together? You’re happy?” Kihyun’s questions tumbled out before he could stop them.  

“Changkyun and I?” Wonho reverted his attention back to Kihyun, his eyes softer. “Of course,” he said simply.

“Good.” And then, as if to convince himself, Kihyun repeated it.

 

◇

 

“This new penthouse is impressive,” Kihyun noted as the seven settled down at the dining table.

“We won’t be here for long. Small steps, you know?” Jooheon shrugged, clearly proud.

“At this rate, you’ll move into your palace before we turn thirty.”

“Oh my god, I can’t believe you remember that.”

“Are you kidding? That was a defining moment for Lee Jooheon in my eyes.”

Hyungwon cleared his throat. “I swear, if the dinner conversations revolve around yall’s childhood, I’m leaving.”

“Behave, Hyungwon,” Kihyun frowned at Hyungwon, who threw challenging daggers back.

“Whoa, you like tattoos?” Minhyuk eyed Wonho’s now jacket-free arms with interest.

Wonho smiled shyly. “Something like that.”

“Do they allow those at your company?” Shownu spoke up for the first time.

“Well, my position isn’t really client-facing.”

“Pity. That’s a waste of a nice face.”

“What-” Wonho stuttered, trying to process Shownu’s words before shaking his head. “Anyway, it’s not like I need permission if the CEO’s son is my tattoo artist.”

“No way?” Minhyuk grabbed a shocked Wonho’s arm for further inspection as the remaining heads turned towards Changkyun. “These are gorgeous!”

“Just a hobby,” Changkyun mumbled into his plate, blush creeping up on his face.

“Are those weeds?”

“No, I think they’re flowers.”

“Wildflowers.”

Changkyun looked up at Kihyun who had spoken last. The latter continued to stare at the tattoos a moment longer, a distant fleeting sadness and missed chances before looking at Changkyun with the softest of smiles.

“You’re good in my book, Wonho,” Minhyuk spoke up once he was finished inspecting his arm and turned to Shownu. “See? I told you there’ll be someone your age for you to hang out with tonight.”

“Excuse me?” Hyungwon squawked. “But I already called dibs on Shownu.”

“Don’t be a child, Hyungwon,” Kihyun spoke firmly.

“But I don’t wanna share,” Hyungwon moped.

“It’s alright,” Shownu patted Hyungwon’s hand reassuringly. “There’s enough of me to go around.”

 

◇

 

The next morning, Changkyun woke up to find himself curled up against a peacefully sleeping Jooheon. He rubbed his eyes and yawned, clutching his head at the remnants of a hangover. Sitting up, he noticed the one other awake soul tiptoeing by the room before doubling back to peek inside.

“Morning,” Kihyun whispered before waving. “Front door when you’re ready.”

Changkyun stretched his arms and hopped into the bathroom to splash water on his face. As he walked down the hall, he saw another room with three people cozied up together on the bed. He smiled to himself. So much for Wonho worrying over feeling left out during this trip.

“Coffee,” Kihyun shook a thermos and two mugs in hand. He motioned at the throw on the sofa. “Here, grab a blanket.”

The two took an elevator up. Changkyun rubbed his eyes, still bleary from sleep. Once they reached the top-most floor, Kihyun silently led the way to a closed-off stairwell at the end of a hall.

“Hold this for a sec,” he handed the thermos to Changkyun before he dug into his pocket to bring out a set of keys.

When Changkyun raised his brows, Kihyun grinned. “Perks to being head of security.”

The door opened to an empty rooftop, with the first rays of the summer sun having warmed up the concrete. Kihyun set down the thermos and the mugs on the ledge, swung his legs over, and made himself comfortable. He then turned towards Changkyun with a grin, motioning for him to follow.

Changkyun leaned in to see Kihyun’s feet dangling a dozen or so stories above ground. With a snort and a shake of the head, he gingerly took his place next to Kihyun.

“So,” Kihyun passed the coffee. “Wonho can really break it down, can’t he?”

“I could say the same about you,” Changkyun stopped to hum a familiar pop tune. “Since when did you know how to dance like that?”

“Shut up,” Kihyun reddened. “I had too much to drink last night.”

Changkyun smiled downwards as he nursed his mug, steam billowing up and clouding his glasses.

“Anyway,” Kihyun waved his free hand. “I wanna know more about him. How you two met, how you got together, tell me everything.”

“About who?”

“The love of your life, of course.”

“Too cheesy.”

Kihyun shrugged. “Alright, whatever you want to call him, then.”

Changkyun trailed a finger around the rim of the mug. “It won’t make you uncomfortable?”

“Well,” Kihyun scratched his cheek. “Leave out the behind-closed-doors parts.”

Suppressing a groan, Changkyun shook his head. “Fine. Just the basics, then.”

Kihyun shifted so that his legs straddled the ledge, facing Changkyun.

“The first time I saw him, he was scary. Intimidating, almost.”

“I believe that,” Kihyun nodded in sympathy. “With that face and that body, he doesn’t look like he belongs in our plane of existence.”

“It took me a while to become comfortable around him." Changkyun stared off at a distance, smiling fondly. "He doesn’t do a lot of outward expressions of love. Just little things, you know? A word of encouragement here, a kind smile there. I’m fortunate to have family and friends who bend over backwards for my sake, but he’s the first who made me feel like I need to prove myself, to push myself. He was my rival and my backboard, but he was also my net in case I fell. He made me feel like a person.”

Kihyun hung onto Changkyun’s every word, nodding in awe and glistening stars in his eyes. “You’ve found yourself a match.”

“He works so hard, Kihyun. He never puts himself first, and it breaks my heart sometimes,” Changkyun sighed. “He has this dream. He thinks it’s far-fetched, one where he wants to forget all his worries, unshackle that weight tied to his ankle and just fly, if only for a day.”

Kihyun squinted.

“He’s a great story-teller. He has an amount of self-confidence that’s inspiring when it’s not working against you. He cheats in one-on-one basketball. He has an extraordinary memory. And you know what’s really curious about him?”

Kihyun shook his head and sat up straighter.

“He eats bruised grapes. I mean, who _does_ that?”

After an eternity of frozen silence, Kihyun gently pushed Changkyun. “Don’t joke around.”

Changkyun poked Kihyun back. “ _You_ don’t joke. You really thought Wonho and I were an item?”

“I mean," Kihyun fidgeted. "Minhyuk told me you guys weren’t. But you, living with him? Flying him over to meet your friends?” He shook his head. “You don’t just let anyone get that close to you, Changkyun.”

“Wonho's done a lot for me,” Changkyun shrugged. “But did you really think I could’ve moved on from you? Over some teenage outrage?”

“Moved on from what?” Kihyun mumbled, sloshing his remaining coffee. “It’s not like we had anything official.”

“ _Official,_ ” Changkyun gaped. “You really are stuck in high school, aren’t you?”

Kihyun glared but remained quiet.

“Look, I know I’m 24 and I probably should’ve gotten this idea of ‘love’ squared away by now but I don’t. I’m not sure about love. But I’m sure about you.”

“Ugh,” Kihyun shivered, feeling the goosebumps on his forearm. “Now look who’s being cheesy.”

"Not sorry. Had that line saved for eight years.”

Kihyun rolled his eyes. He looked on at the city slowly waking up to the day before speaking again. “What changes now?”

“Not much, if you like the way things are,” the inflection in Changkyun's voice dipped for the first time since he began. "Just needed you to know."

“And if I wanted things to change. Could we make it work?”

“We can try,” came a hesitant reply.

Kihyun saw Changkyun’s eyes reflecting his own, brimming with life and love and endless possibilities, of a future of the most extraordinary rising suns, a thousand, a million times over. And for once, Kihyun decided to dive.

**Author's Note:**

> hey there, recipient! i thoroughly enjoyed writing your prompt, and i hope you like the result!


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